Anger Reliever (DA Edition!)

Hello, and welcome, to DevianArt's first official Anger/Boredom reliever! Eventually I will branch out to Tumblr, but for now I am still traumatized by that particular website. The point of this story is that it is interactive! You can basically choose from a cast of characters, and suggest some sort of scenario. Angry? Make an internet troll get punched in the face! Bored? Turn a hipster into a porcupine! Really bored? Screw all of thee above and really mess up a character's life. Want to know who the characters are? Here's a list:
(Angry) Hipster Guy
Wannabe Girl
Fail Troll Guy
Otaku Girl
Punk Guy
(Bratty) Popular Girl
Metalhead Guy
'Barbie' Girl
Emo Guy
Goth Girl
(Ratty) Teacher's Pet Guy
'Loner' Girl
Jock Guy
(Mean) Cheerleader Girl
You can suggest characters, and I will gladly accept them into the list. To suggest a scenario, post what you want in the comments!
Useful Commands~
For the next (number) stories, (name) is (X)
(X) happens to (name)
(name) is now/acts like (X)
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Or you could just ask a character a question, and see their response. Anyways, have fun, and I can't wait to see what happens to everyone!